I am washing myself clean of the undone “stuff” from last year*. So, onward with five things for the first week of 2023. It’s not exactly resolutions. More like “acknowledgements to try for better.”
*1) List Too Long
Part of my brand or flavor of ADHD/neurodivergence is a tendency to sometimes get behind because I put too many things on my to-do list, a number of thing that can only all get done if I’m operating at 120% capacity at all times (and sometimes the list isn’t even feasible then).
I’d say my New Year’s Resolution should be to stop doing that, but stopping a lifelong habit might require a bit more of a process than just “stop doing that, dummy.”
Especially, since I now know this behavior is rooted in ADHD and so I have to work with my brain instead of against it. Working against it by just telling myself to stop being a lazy doofus hasn’t worked. Generally, that method backfires even if it seems to work for a day or two.
A solution means understanding the problem, part of which is the affect of ADHD Time: It’s either Now or Not Now. There are not other time options, so something either goes on the list for Today or Never. This is unrealistic and ridiculous and I know it even as I do it over and over. I need to train myself to figure out how to prioritize or order things, so my ideas and plans can get doled out sanely over the course of days or weeks instead of Today or Failure.
Thus, I need to get myself in the habit of making my to-do list in a notebook other than my planner, figuring out which thing(s) absolutely need to happen first, if any of them can happen (feasibly) today, and then putting that on my planner to-do. Keeping the rest of the list in the other notebook on my desk that I use for this specific work task and notes means I’ll know where to find the rest of the list when I have done the Now Thing and am ready to add a new Now Thing.
(If all of this sounds stupid and like utter nonsense or like the sort of thing that should be completely obvious, congrats on your neurotypical brain.)
If you want more information on ADHD, here are some good resources:
How to ADHD (YouTube channel with mostly bite-sized information)
Black Girl, Lost Keys (blog, podcast, and coaching with other resources)
Adulting with ADHD (Substack newsletter)
ADHD 2.0 (book that now addresses some of newer research)
*2) I have a lifelong bad habit of, upon realizing I’ve skipped a few days of something I meant to do or getting behind on a task, getting utterly overwhelmed and either having to fight myself to “waste” multiple whole days catching up (if it’s a vital thing) or procrastinating ever doing the thing again because “catching up” feels too daunting and it’s far easier to pretend it was never a goal.
Is this why it’s been a while since I’ve sent a newsletter? Why, yes.
Is this why I haven’t finished a NaNoWriMo in a decade? Why, yes.
Is this why I still need to finish typing up the minutes for last year’s Sister’s in Crime Meetings? [Hangs head in shame.] Yes.**
Maybe my new Year’s Resolution should be to go back and catch up. Except, do I really need to send out a newsletter about things I vaguely remember from October? No. Do I need to go back and finish a fake “novel” writing contest from November? No. I need to finish the writing projects I’ve started, but I don’t need to involve the NaNoWriMo nonprofit. Do I need to finish typing up those minutes? Yes. Yes, I need to do that. (Adds to to-do list for Saturday because I know I’m not getting to it today or tomorrow**.)
Letting go of the “behind” things means letting go of the overwhelm that keeps me from making any progress at all. Making some progress, even if it’s slower than intended, is better than none.
If you have undone things on your list, go back and ask yourself seriously if you must complete them and if so, what is a reasonable timeline for finishing because “yesterday” is not reasonable.
3) More reset ideas? Check out Sarra Cannon’s video over at her Heart Breathing’s channel.
**Though this newsletter never got finished, the minutes did. Yay?
I’m thinking of transitioning this newsletter to more information about nature, the flora and fauna (especially of natural Florida), and other topics I find interesting. This “5 things” idea takes me way too long because I’m way too wordy and maybe don’t feel all that entertaining. Another possibility is cutting down to 3 things. If you have thoughts, let me know!